I’m having a little bit of a freak out at the moment.
This isn’t all that much of a surprise – generally I’m a neurotic idiot who reads waaaay too much into everything all of the time, but over the past few weeks it’s mainly concerning the passing of time. I’m 25 this year. 25. How did that happen? I remember graduating and thinking “Bloody hell, it feels like I’ve only just left college” and now it’s been 3 years since I graduated. I can’t really comprehend how quickly that time has passed, because it genuinely feels like I’m still fresh out of Uni.
I could put the passing of time down to having fun. Immediately after uni I was distracted with a boy, so that certainly helped to pass the time. Once that boy disappeared off the scene, I spent the last year actually DOING things, which I’ve noted here before. Holidays, day trips etc. I’ve been enjoying the fact I’ve had a salary and making myself incredibly poor as a result.
I guess what’s making me most paranoid about the passing of time is that I feel like I have little to show for 25 years of existing. The best thing I have is a degree. One that (to quite a few people’s annoyance) I didn’t work particularly hard for. Other than that, I’ve got bugger all to show for it, but plenty of excuses for why. I started typing my problems and subsequent excuses, but then this whole post turned out to be really bloody whiney, when the intention wasn’t to whinge at all.
Honestly, no whinge. Just a melancholy reflection on the state of my life. It’s not like it by any means bad, not in the slightest. But when your very closest friends are marrying off and having babies, it’s intensely difficult to avoid “milestoning” your life.
Blimey. I need Abby back in my life, she’d sort my whinging backside out in no time.