Change both terrifies and thrills me in equal measure.
I’d say that most people would agree with this. We know change does us good. It shakes things up a bit. Forces us to re-evaluate our priorities, our preferences and stops us from going stale. Which, let’s face it, is a pretty common occurence for me, being a slovenly cow and all.
To my mind, there are varying levels of change, measured by the length of time it takes my brain to process the event in question. This can go from the barely perceptible (bus timetable alteration) to the life-changing (starting a new job, moving house etc).
Then there are those changes over which you have no control. Events which directly alter the lives of others, but create ripples of change for those around them.
In the very early hours of this morning one of my very best friends Alex, gave birth to Eloise – a beautiful bundle of gorgeous baby joy. Ally has the dubious honour of being the first of my close friends to go through one of these life milestones. One of those events which will change her life forever and marks a shift in all of our friendships and how they evolve from now on.
I’ve got other friends who’ve got engaged, married and pregnant. I’ve been to the weddings, bought the babygros and toasted all of them wholeheartedly. But this time round, there’s a real feeling of change in the air, because it’s happening to one of my friends that I’m so emotionally invested in. It’s incredibly exciting, but also incredibly difficult for my brain to process. Possibly because I’m an idiot, probably because I’m a soppy emotional fuckwit, but also because it really is a massive deal.
Now, I am in no way comparing what I’m describing as ‘change’ to what Alex will be dealing with in the coming months and years. No way, nuh-uh. But little Eloise is the beginning of a whole lot of change to come and that’s a very nerve-wracking and exciting prospect.
I really cannot wait to meet her.
And continually remind her when she grows up of how she ruined my life by reminding me of all my failures, romantically, physically and biologically.
Congratulations Ally and Ian!